Final grades - Fall 2006

Well,
As most of you know, this quarter was largely taking pre-requisites that I didn't feel like I should've been subjected to (that's right... SUBJECTED TO). It had been a long time since I'd taken these classes, but I had taken them. Unfortunately the credits wouldn't transfer. SOOOOOO, I was stuck taking classes that I had slid my way through earlier in my undergraduate days.

SO Biology 111, and Biology 112 weren't that daunting to me. The only issue I had with those classes was that I just don't care about a lot of the stuff that these classes cover. I just knew I was going to have to study harder for these.

Algebra on the other hand was a BEAST! First of all, my time before entering the Doctorate program was pushed back an entire quarter because of this class! Then, there is the fact that I have NO confidence in my mathematical acumen. That's right, nothing makes me feel quite as dumb as sitting in a desk, staring at a page full of numbers. Yikes!

WELL, Bio went much as expected. In those two courses, I earned a B and a C respectively.

Algebra, again, is a different story. God completely blew me away with His grace!!!! I walked into the final clinging to a C average. I walked out of the final distraught because I KNEW I had just bombed it! I mean I knew it.
The test was multiple choice, so I knew that there was a chance... I also knew that, by rights, I should fail this course (anything below a C is failing). Well, I looked last night on Blackboard and God worked on my behalf in the heart of the professor and in that scantron machine, apparently!!!!
I GOT A B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW!!! 2 B's and a C are not the best grades, but they look beautiful to me!!! It's on to Chemistry and Physics next quarter :)

By the way, if anyone is a Chemistry wiz, I may need you next quarter. I think that my chemistry tutor is going to be unavailable to me, after all.

Dimensions

How high and how wide?
How deep and how long?
How sweet and how strong is your Love?
How lavish your grace?
How faithful your ways?
How great is your Love, Oh LORD?!

You know. I love my prayer life. It is vibrant and I can hear God clearly and no one but He and I know how much time I spend alone with Him! However, there has been an intensity to the last two weeks of prayer that we have not had to have in quite a while. God is purging my heart to another level. He is drawing me in even deeper and I love it!!!

In the midst of one of the most emotionally draining and painful times in my life, I have a peace and a joy that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE! Oh, I still have times of prayer where I am crying so hard that my ribs and abs are fatigued from convulsing with tears and writhing in pain, but it is all OK. I know it may sound weird, but it is fun to be in pain on behalf of someone you love. It is an honor. God has been using this situation to take me to new levels of trust, faith and love. I am receiving His love more than ever before. He's always been trying to give me more, but now God has been able to open my heart more and I can accept it more now than I could have ever before. I am so thankful!

Just in the last 3 days, God has done so much SIGNIFICANT stuff in my soul, that it took me about 45 minutes to tell Chris about it tonight. His love is so gentle. He has never forced Himself upon me, but He is always there, ready to give me more. His love is so strong, that I cannot receive it all. It is so strong that it shows me how unworthy I am and I want to be more like Him. It is so strong that I know that my unworthiness doesn't cross His mind. The more I receive it, the more it can flow out of me. I am so humbled by how Good God is to me and all I can do is stand here and cry and say, "Thank you Jesus!"

Can Pain Be Fun?

OK, I know this may sound a little masochistic, but it really isn't! At least not in the normal connotation of the word. There is nothing sexual about this!

God has allowed me to come to a place and a season where doing what He wants me to do, hurts. I don't just mean emotional pain, I mean emotional pain to the point where I am having physical pain. I am REALLY digging "in there" in prayer. I am praying for strength to do what He wants me to do. I am praying for the desire to do what He wants me to do. I am praying for some deliverance from my emotions. I am praying for the woman I am in love with. I am praying for my future wife. I am praying for my brother. I am praying for his wife. I am praying for everyone that I love. Man, am I praying!!!

Anyway, I am actually very thankful that I am in this place. I am having to give up something that I don't want to give up. I am doing it out of my love for the LORD. I believe that God will eventually bring it back to me, but even if He doesn't, I am so grateful that He allowed me to be in the place I am now. I was in a place last summer (2005) where I had all but given up on a HUGE desire of my heart. God allowed me to meet some people and my hope has been rekindled. It is not specific hope, but my hope in the desire has been rekindled. (I don't know how much sense that makes with me being so vague...) My hope isn't in a person or a situation, but the people that I met showed me that I was premature to give up on the hope for my desire to be fulfilled. (OK, I don't know if that cleared it up AT ALL)

ANYWAY.... The pain that I am feeling now, I can only view as a good thing! I know God is working it for my good! I know that hardship is to be viewed as discipline and that discipline is a PROOF of God's love for me! I know that I am going to grow closer to God and more like God through this! Does it hurt? Oh yeah!!!! It is excruciating beyond anything I have ever experienced! I don't recall EVER crying this much or this often. I feel like a "sissy man!" BUT, even in that, I can see God's love. I can feel God's peace. I'm OK :)

Pizza Angel

What is your favorite Silly Song with Larry? This isn't mine, but I did laugh pretty hard when I first saw this one


Veggie Tales: Pizza Angel

~*...Reta Marie...*~ | MySpace Video

Winter 2007 Schedule

Hello all,
I just got my class schedule for next quarter finalized. Now I can start planning how (and how much) I'm going to be able to work. I would appreciate any help, if anyone is a Pysics wiz! I have already had a woman of God offer to help me with Chemistry. Love y'all.

Monday:
Chemistry 11:00AM - 12:50PM
Physics 1:00 - 2:50PM
Chemistry Lab - 3:00PM - 4:50PM

Tuesday:
Physics 1:00 - 2:50PM
Physics Lab - 3:00 - 4:50PM

Wednesday:
Chemistry 11:00AM - 12:50PM
Physics 1:00 - 2:50PM
Chemistry Lab - 3:00PM - 4:50PM

Thursday:
Chemistry 11:00AM - 12:50PM
Physics 1:00 - 2:50PM
Physics Lab - 3:00 - 4:50PM

Friday:
Chemistry 11:00AM - 12:50PM

Isn't it sad that I have to come to campus on Fridays, just for Chemistry?

The BLESSING of trials

I am now thoroughly convinced that trials are a blessing from the LORD

WHY?!

Well, you find some interesting things about yourself when you go through trials. You can say all sorts of things about yourself, but you never completely know the state of your soul until you go through something VERY difficult. The Bible mentions, in several places, (and I know I'm butchering these quotes) things like "a man's heart is judged by the praise he receives" (Proverbs 27), "the inclinations of a man's heart are evil from childhood" (Genesis 8) and "The LORD looks at the heart when judging the actions of men" (Jeremiah 11:20 & 17:10) and "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45) --> I have found out some things about my heart that are disturbing (like how emotional I still am) and also some very good things (like the fact that I am not going to be moved by those strong emotions - I am going to move in love). I need God to help me, because I can't change the "bad stuff" by myself. He needs to allow these situations so that I can recognize, confess and pray against the foolishness that is still in my heart. I want to love those whom He has called me to love in the same way He has loved me: which is so gentle, yet strong that I can't even receive it all and I KNOW I don't deserve it!

Hebrews 12:7-14 says:
"7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. 14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord."

God is trying to get it through our heads that trials are a GOOD thing. In fact, they are a GIFT!!!! They are a sign to us that He loves us!
*** He is helping us to attain the goal of our faith which is the salvation of our souls. (I Peter 1)
*** He is wanting us to share in his holiness (v.10) - why does He want us to share in His holiness? Because He wants us to be able to see Him!!! (v.14).
*** "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful..." - that seems like such a "DUH!!!!" statement, but God is communicating that HE KNOWS THAT!!! He's not ignoring the fact that it hurts, He is saying that we should look beyond the pain to the goal and the "harvest" that we will reap: Righteousness and Peace - Keep in mind that the Kingdom of God is Righteousness, Peace and Joy in the Holy Spirit! (Romans 14). God wants us to experience the Kingdom!

This is awesome to me! :) There aren't a whole lot of specifics in the New Testament, but every one that I can think of is about how to THINK.

My Father, help us to think the way you want us to, and be focused in the way you would have us be. As we obey, You promised that you would change us "...to will and to act according to [Your] good purpose." (Philippians 2) Thank you that you have begun this work in me (and us) and You are going to be faithful to complete it! I want to be like you LORD!!!!!

Nicholas Sparks is a smart man

I was walking through Target about an hour ago looking for a King James Version of the Bible when a name caught my eye.  The name was Nicholas Sparks.  I had heard really good things about him (apparently he wrote the novels that inspired "A Walk To Remember" and "The Notebook") so I stopped.  The book's title was "At First Sight" and it is apparently a continuation of the story that was begun in "True Believer."  I didn't read the first book, but the title grabbed me and I flipped it over to see what the back cover said.  I saw that "At First Sight explores the love between a man and a woman and between parent and child - and reveals an extraordinary truth: that the emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals." (emphasis mine)

Now, obviously, there is another level to that truth that followers of Jesus Christ can understand, but the principle is the same.  I'm seriously considering buying and reading that book over the Christmas break.