Can Pain Be Fun?

OK, I know this may sound a little masochistic, but it really isn't! At least not in the normal connotation of the word. There is nothing sexual about this!

God has allowed me to come to a place and a season where doing what He wants me to do, hurts. I don't just mean emotional pain, I mean emotional pain to the point where I am having physical pain. I am REALLY digging "in there" in prayer. I am praying for strength to do what He wants me to do. I am praying for the desire to do what He wants me to do. I am praying for some deliverance from my emotions. I am praying for the woman I am in love with. I am praying for my future wife. I am praying for my brother. I am praying for his wife. I am praying for everyone that I love. Man, am I praying!!!

Anyway, I am actually very thankful that I am in this place. I am having to give up something that I don't want to give up. I am doing it out of my love for the LORD. I believe that God will eventually bring it back to me, but even if He doesn't, I am so grateful that He allowed me to be in the place I am now. I was in a place last summer (2005) where I had all but given up on a HUGE desire of my heart. God allowed me to meet some people and my hope has been rekindled. It is not specific hope, but my hope in the desire has been rekindled. (I don't know how much sense that makes with me being so vague...) My hope isn't in a person or a situation, but the people that I met showed me that I was premature to give up on the hope for my desire to be fulfilled. (OK, I don't know if that cleared it up AT ALL)

ANYWAY.... The pain that I am feeling now, I can only view as a good thing! I know God is working it for my good! I know that hardship is to be viewed as discipline and that discipline is a PROOF of God's love for me! I know that I am going to grow closer to God and more like God through this! Does it hurt? Oh yeah!!!! It is excruciating beyond anything I have ever experienced! I don't recall EVER crying this much or this often. I feel like a "sissy man!" BUT, even in that, I can see God's love. I can feel God's peace. I'm OK :)