Can Pain Be Fun?

OK, I know this may sound a little masochistic, but it really isn't! At least not in the normal connotation of the word. There is nothing sexual about this!

God has allowed me to come to a place and a season where doing what He wants me to do, hurts. I don't just mean emotional pain, I mean emotional pain to the point where I am having physical pain. I am REALLY digging "in there" in prayer. I am praying for strength to do what He wants me to do. I am praying for the desire to do what He wants me to do. I am praying for some deliverance from my emotions. I am praying for the woman I am in love with. I am praying for my future wife. I am praying for my brother. I am praying for his wife. I am praying for everyone that I love. Man, am I praying!!!

Anyway, I am actually very thankful that I am in this place. I am having to give up something that I don't want to give up. I am doing it out of my love for the LORD. I believe that God will eventually bring it back to me, but even if He doesn't, I am so grateful that He allowed me to be in the place I am now. I was in a place last summer (2005) where I had all but given up on a HUGE desire of my heart. God allowed me to meet some people and my hope has been rekindled. It is not specific hope, but my hope in the desire has been rekindled. (I don't know how much sense that makes with me being so vague...) My hope isn't in a person or a situation, but the people that I met showed me that I was premature to give up on the hope for my desire to be fulfilled. (OK, I don't know if that cleared it up AT ALL)

ANYWAY.... The pain that I am feeling now, I can only view as a good thing! I know God is working it for my good! I know that hardship is to be viewed as discipline and that discipline is a PROOF of God's love for me! I know that I am going to grow closer to God and more like God through this! Does it hurt? Oh yeah!!!! It is excruciating beyond anything I have ever experienced! I don't recall EVER crying this much or this often. I feel like a "sissy man!" BUT, even in that, I can see God's love. I can feel God's peace. I'm OK :)

Pizza Angel

What is your favorite Silly Song with Larry? This isn't mine, but I did laugh pretty hard when I first saw this one


Veggie Tales: Pizza Angel

~*...Reta Marie...*~ | MySpace Video

Winter 2007 Schedule

Hello all,
I just got my class schedule for next quarter finalized. Now I can start planning how (and how much) I'm going to be able to work. I would appreciate any help, if anyone is a Pysics wiz! I have already had a woman of God offer to help me with Chemistry. Love y'all.

Monday:
Chemistry 11:00AM - 12:50PM
Physics 1:00 - 2:50PM
Chemistry Lab - 3:00PM - 4:50PM

Tuesday:
Physics 1:00 - 2:50PM
Physics Lab - 3:00 - 4:50PM

Wednesday:
Chemistry 11:00AM - 12:50PM
Physics 1:00 - 2:50PM
Chemistry Lab - 3:00PM - 4:50PM

Thursday:
Chemistry 11:00AM - 12:50PM
Physics 1:00 - 2:50PM
Physics Lab - 3:00 - 4:50PM

Friday:
Chemistry 11:00AM - 12:50PM

Isn't it sad that I have to come to campus on Fridays, just for Chemistry?

The BLESSING of trials

I am now thoroughly convinced that trials are a blessing from the LORD

WHY?!

Well, you find some interesting things about yourself when you go through trials. You can say all sorts of things about yourself, but you never completely know the state of your soul until you go through something VERY difficult. The Bible mentions, in several places, (and I know I'm butchering these quotes) things like "a man's heart is judged by the praise he receives" (Proverbs 27), "the inclinations of a man's heart are evil from childhood" (Genesis 8) and "The LORD looks at the heart when judging the actions of men" (Jeremiah 11:20 & 17:10) and "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45) --> I have found out some things about my heart that are disturbing (like how emotional I still am) and also some very good things (like the fact that I am not going to be moved by those strong emotions - I am going to move in love). I need God to help me, because I can't change the "bad stuff" by myself. He needs to allow these situations so that I can recognize, confess and pray against the foolishness that is still in my heart. I want to love those whom He has called me to love in the same way He has loved me: which is so gentle, yet strong that I can't even receive it all and I KNOW I don't deserve it!

Hebrews 12:7-14 says:
"7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. 14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord."

God is trying to get it through our heads that trials are a GOOD thing. In fact, they are a GIFT!!!! They are a sign to us that He loves us!
*** He is helping us to attain the goal of our faith which is the salvation of our souls. (I Peter 1)
*** He is wanting us to share in his holiness (v.10) - why does He want us to share in His holiness? Because He wants us to be able to see Him!!! (v.14).
*** "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful..." - that seems like such a "DUH!!!!" statement, but God is communicating that HE KNOWS THAT!!! He's not ignoring the fact that it hurts, He is saying that we should look beyond the pain to the goal and the "harvest" that we will reap: Righteousness and Peace - Keep in mind that the Kingdom of God is Righteousness, Peace and Joy in the Holy Spirit! (Romans 14). God wants us to experience the Kingdom!

This is awesome to me! :) There aren't a whole lot of specifics in the New Testament, but every one that I can think of is about how to THINK.

My Father, help us to think the way you want us to, and be focused in the way you would have us be. As we obey, You promised that you would change us "...to will and to act according to [Your] good purpose." (Philippians 2) Thank you that you have begun this work in me (and us) and You are going to be faithful to complete it! I want to be like you LORD!!!!!

Nicholas Sparks is a smart man

I was walking through Target about an hour ago looking for a King James Version of the Bible when a name caught my eye.  The name was Nicholas Sparks.  I had heard really good things about him (apparently he wrote the novels that inspired "A Walk To Remember" and "The Notebook") so I stopped.  The book's title was "At First Sight" and it is apparently a continuation of the story that was begun in "True Believer."  I didn't read the first book, but the title grabbed me and I flipped it over to see what the back cover said.  I saw that "At First Sight explores the love between a man and a woman and between parent and child - and reveals an extraordinary truth: that the emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals." (emphasis mine)

Now, obviously, there is another level to that truth that followers of Jesus Christ can understand, but the principle is the same.  I'm seriously considering buying and reading that book over the Christmas break.

Do you love me?

I have been completely honest with you, and opened wide my heart to you. I am not withholding my affection from you, are you withholding yours from me? As a fair exchange... open wide your heart also. I love you! (paraphrase of the principle from II Corinthians 6:11-13)

I will gladly give you all I have and spend myself as well. Still, I wonder, if I love you more, will you love me less? (paraphrase of the principle from II Corinthians 12:15)

This is the heart of God, to continue to love, regardless of whether the "loved" will return the love. It is the heart of God to serve and give without end.

In fact this is what love is. God defined love in I John 4:10. Love is the willingness to sacrifice and allow yourself to go through pain, humiliation, torture, and hell itself for the person you love.

Then I Corinthians 13:4-8a gives a great description of love - and I'm sure we've all heard it:

Love is patient

Love is kind

Love is not envious

Love is not boastful

Love is not proud

Love is not rude

Love is not self-seeking

Love is not easily angered

Love does not keep a record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil

Love rejoices in the truth

Love always protects

Love always trusts

Love always hopes

Love always perseveres

Love never fails

The only reason for love, is love itself. It is ALL ABOUT the person who IS LOVED

As a Christian, I am called to love others as the Father loves Jesus and AS JESUS CHRIST LOVED ME (John 13, 15 & 17)

As a husband, I will be called to love my wife like Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5)

As a father, I will be called to love my children as the Father has loved Jesus and as He has loved me.

This is a tall order, and there is nothing more frightening than completely baring your heart to someone who may or may not return your love and affection, but I am determined to love like Jesus loved and allow whatever happens to happen. How will people see and know the power of the love of God if it is never displayed in a man? The same love and power that rose Jesus from the dead is living in me! It is truly no longer I who lives here, Christ is living through me in a greater measure each day.

What's my point?

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

love...

Man!!!

I have been thinking a lot about love lately. God's love, the purity and the strength of it, and then the power of watching God's love through me change people's hearts.

I have been in a tough situation (as far as circumstances go) for a while. I was released from my contract, basically because I was a Christian. I had to decide to stay in Richmond an extra 3 months in order to love some people above myself. I left a job and people that I loved to move to a city where I really didn't know anyone to go to a school that I had never seen. When I got here, my car started messing up - lots of things happening with this car (Power Steering leak, tires, starter, neutral switch). Plus, I was surrounded by people who were putting expectations on me without letting me know what they were. WHEW!!!! All of that can be pretty rough.

HOWEVER!!!!! God's love towards me has been GREAT! God has also allowed me to humble myself and I am seeing the fruit of it. I am watching my prayers for people become manifest. I am watching love transform people's hearts. I am watching my natural circumstances come back on the upswing. Also, God showed me another portion of my family that I had never met. Ed & Deana Montgomery have a tremendous heart and again, are like a piece of me that I had been missing. I am so thankful that God showed me them. It amazes me how when God shows me a member of my family, our hearts become knit almost instantaneously.

More to come, I have to go take a test now.....