The Husband Store

one of the friends of my book's MySpace site posted this. I thought it was both sad and funny. What do you think?

The Husband Store!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

1) You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

2) There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . . . you may:
A) Choose any man from a particular floor
B) You may choose to go up a floor
C) You cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and help with the housework.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, help with the housework, have a strong romantic streak, and are good-looking.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. "Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!"

What floor would I be on, do you think?

Venting on behalf of male Massage Therapists!!!

OK, on behalf of any Massage Therapist and more specifically male Massage Therapists who are "legit" I have to say to the ladies:

1) We are not checking out your body while you are on the table.

There is plenty of work for us to do and, while we do not have doctorates, we are focused on giving your muscles a chance to recuperate a little from the stress of your life. We have seen every type of body before, there is no reason for you to be embarrassed or to think that we are giving a second thought to your form. We are not there to "check you out."

2) Please do not proposition us!!!

All men are not dogs. We are not all trying to have sex with whoever will let us! The marriage proposals happen WAY too often and are a little unnerving. Meanwhile, saying "will you have an affair with me" (or more bluntly descriptive versions of the same sentiment) is just weird!

3) Please let the professional in the room set the nature and level of bodily contact

What does this mean?

First, my body belongs to the LORD and to my future wife! PLEASE DO NOT GRAB ME!!! I understand that at certain points during the massage, my "masculine parts" are closely within reach, but THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION FOR YOU TO "HANDLE" ME!!!! It is rude. It is not what I'm there for. And, it is technically sexual assault!

Second, if I say get under the sheet, GET UNDER THE DAGGONE SHEET!!! I don't need you to uncover your breasts for me to be able to massage your pectoral muscles! I don't need you to flash me for me to be able to work on your thighs and gluteal muscles. I will uncover what I need to uncover and nothing more. I do need to uncover parts of you while I am working on you, but let me do it!

4) Please don't broadcast the occurrence of any biological reactions

If you have an orgasm, I am happy for you, but that was NOT an intentional result of my massage. Please do not loudly share that with anyone who is in my office when you leave the massage room! And if you have multiples, PLEASE don't give me a nickname because of it!!! That is just wrong! (and it is embarrassing) I have a name, please call me by it.

OK, I think I'm done.

Please ladies!!!

Help us to overcome the stigma that prostitutes have given to the massage profession. A Massage Therapist is an Health Professional. We do accept tips, but sexual favors are NOT TIPS!!! We are not whores, please do not treat us as such. Thanks!

Decisions, decisions

OK, here is what I'm thinking. There is more to this, just ask if you want to know.

Romans 12:5 intimates that we, as born-again believers in Jesus Christ, belong to one another. There are people who are not very happy, to say the least, at my impending move to Atlanta. I have prayed a lot about this:

*** I know that God has told me to go to Chiropractic school. He has not, however, told me to go now.

*** I know that if I leave now, I will graduate sooner. However, if I leave now, it will hurt the feelings of people that I love.

*** I know that everything at the Chiropractic school is taken care of already (Admissions, Financial Aid, and Housing), but none of that seems too hard to push back a quarter or two.

*** I know I am moving out of the place where I live now at the end of June whether I go or not. But if I go, I wont have to look for another place in Richmond.

*** I know that every reason that I would go now is either selfish or being moved by money:

As a Chiropractor, I know Ill be able to support my wife and whatever children the LORD gives us. I am not excited about having it be a long time before I can do that.

My finances are beyond tight right now and moving to ATL will alleviate some of that.

It is definitely the easier route to take, there are fewer uncertainties inherent in moving to ATL now

Ya'll know, I am not one who shies away from impending hardship if I believed that God was leading me through it. I am not going to do something just because it would be "easier." Furthermore, I dont want to be moved by money. I cannot serve both God and money and, hopefully, its obvious to everyone who knows me that my choice will always be to serve God.

Like I said, I believe (and it was confirmed several times) that God wants me to go to Chiropractic School. I do not believe that He wants me to go now. It was always simply my preference to go now. Honestly, this was because I was in a hurry to be able to make enough to support a family. In my mind, it has been hard to see myself as husband material because I am so poor. God help me!!! That statement sounds so shallow to me!

I feel kinda like Paul when he wrote that it would be better for the Philippians that he loved if he stuck around longer. (Philippians 1:23-24 - Obviously, he was talking about staying alive, but I believe the principle is the same. He desired to depart, but he knew that his preference was self-motivated and because of his love, he wanted to stick around longer does that make sense?). Selfishly, I would like to begin my schooling and get my pre-requisites finished. However, I love these people more than I love myself and that is what love is (I John 4:10). Love is self-sacrificing. And the attitude of Jesus that we are encouraged to emulate in Philippians 2 (verses 1-16 but especially 3-4) further demonstrates this. As does I Corinthians 13. The point is clear. If I loved only myself, I would be going.

That is not the case.

I need to stay.

Please pray for me. I need to find a new place and I need to find gainful employment