First Name: Joseph
Middle Name: Anthony
Birthday: 10/30/77
Eyes: Change colors (green most of the time)
Hair: Shaved 4-5 times a week
Fav color: Silver & Black (Go Raiders!!!)
Day/Night: Night
Fave Food: American, Mexican, Italian
FRIENDS AND LIFE
Do you ever wish you had another name? Not a big fan of Anthony, but I like Joseph and Capri
Do you like anyone? yes
Which one of your friends acts the most like you? that's a toss up between Butta and Chris
Who's the loudest? of my friends? I don't know they all can be at times, I guess
Who have you known the longest of your friends? Stuart, Grandpa, and then Adolph
Who's the shyest: probably Hyo Chin
Are you close to any family members? My brother Chris, Grandpa, Dad (Stuart), and my natural sister (Mary)
When you cried the most: in prayer
What's the best feeling in the world: freedom
Worst Feeling: guilt
FINISH EACH SENTENCE:
Let's walk on the: narrow path
Let's run through: the sprinklers :)
Let's look at the: sunset
What a nice: thing to say
Where did all the: beautiful AND Godly single women go?!
Why can't you: completely surrender to the LORD?
Silly, little: squirrel
Tell me: the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
HAVE YOU:
Ran away from home: no
Pictured your crush naked: no
Skipped school: yes
Broken someone's heart: unfortunately
Been in love: yes
Cried when someone died: yes
Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: yes
Done something embarrassing: yes
Done a drug: Alcohol, Tobacco & Caffeine
Cried in school: yes
RANDOM
Your Good Luck Charm: N/A
Person You Hate Most: N/A
Best Thing That Has Happened: Jesus dying for me
Ice Cream: Cookies & Cream (the kind with the Oreos)
WHO Makes you laugh the most: Butta
Makes you smile: Chris & Hyo Chin
Has A Crush On You: no one that I know of
Do You Have A Crush On Someone: not really
HAVE YOU EVER
Fallen for your best friend?: no
Made out with JUST a friend?: no
Kissed two people in the same day?: no
Had sex with two different people in the same day?: no
Been rejected: . yes
Been in love?: yes
Been used?: yes
Done something you regret?: yes, but I have been set free from the shame of my past
Cheated on someone?: no
Been called a tease: no
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
You touched?: I gave a massage to one of my students on Wednesday
You talked to on the phone?: Chris - Hyo Chin just gave birth to their 2nd child!!! Welcome to the world, Maelinn!!!!!!
You hugged?: my sister
You instant messaged?: Matthew
You kissed?: My neice Elizabeth when it was time for bed
You yelled at?: I can't remember, it's been that long
Who text messaged you?: Julie
Who broke your heart?: no comment
Who told you they loved you?: my brother, Chris
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I've been set free from the shame of my past, so NOW I don't regret anything. I wouldn't do a few things again, but I don't regret them. I am who I am because of what I have gone through.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
Hey,
I don't know if ya'll remember these, but they used to show two or three of these "Deep thoughts" every episode of Saturday Night Live. I saw that my natural sister had a book of them. Here are some of the funnier ones.
DISCLAIMER: some of these are VERY stupid, some of them are EXTREMELY random and the rest are just WRONG! But, hopefully, you'll find some of them a bit funny
******* The face of a child can say it all... especially the mouth part of the face
******* It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man
******* If you ever fall off of the Sears Tower, just go really limp. Maybe you'll look like a dummy and someone will try to catch you because, "Hey, free dummy"
******* To me, boxing is like ballet, except there's not really any dancing... and there's no choreography... and the dancers hit each other
******* If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all of the time for no good reason
******* Better not take your dog on the space shuttle. If he sticks his head out the window on the way back home, his face might burn up
******* To me, clowns aren't funny. If fact they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
******* I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals
******* If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest part is keeping the students from trying to yodel right off. You see we BUILD to that.
******* Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful flamingo flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a rose in his beak... and he's carrying a beautiful painting with his feet... and you're drunk.
******* Of all my uncles, I think I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes, he'd eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.
******* Anytime I see something screech across the room and latch on to someone's neck and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!
******* In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
******* The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
******* Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows, but without all that noise.
******* I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, everyone could take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
******* If you go parachuting and your parachute doesn't open, and all your friends are watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you're swimming.
******* I think when the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, they gathered together one evening and slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."
******* Sometimes, when I feel like killing someone, I do this little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A Jack-O-Lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says, "You." After that I usually feel a lot better and no harm done.
******* I wish I had a Kryptonite cross because then you could keep Dracula AND Superman away
******* Too bad you can't grab a tree by its tiptop and bend it over to the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.
******* If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one do you think liked dolphins more? I'd say Flippy wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.
******* Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
******* If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where his glove has been.
******* It's too bad whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
******* My wife, Marta, says that the interesting thing about fly fishing is that it's two lives connected by one thin strand. Come on Marta, grow up!
******* The old pool shooter had won many a game in his time, but now it was time to hang up his cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing down. "Sorry," he said with a smile.
******* Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me. Then he kicked me, then he punched me again.
******* The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy Texaco latrine
******* When you go on a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges
******* You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but is really sad on the inside. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
******* As the evening faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught this morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint
******* If the vikings were around today, I think they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted
******* Sometimes I think the whole world has gone mad. Then I think, "Aww, who cares?" Then I think, "Hey, what's for dinner?"
******* I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what's wrong with little bits of cheese? They probably break down into their various gases before they even hit.
*******It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running to go fight in another fight, away from the first fight.
******* I hope, if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size. I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
******* Instead of having "answers" on math tests, I think they should have "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what? Can't we all be brothers?
******* Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because "Where does he think he's going?!"
******* If God dwells inside of us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!
(Stay tuned for a blog talking about that last one....)
I don't know if ya'll remember these, but they used to show two or three of these "Deep thoughts" every episode of Saturday Night Live. I saw that my natural sister had a book of them. Here are some of the funnier ones.
DISCLAIMER: some of these are VERY stupid, some of them are EXTREMELY random and the rest are just WRONG! But, hopefully, you'll find some of them a bit funny
******* The face of a child can say it all... especially the mouth part of the face
******* It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man
******* If you ever fall off of the Sears Tower, just go really limp. Maybe you'll look like a dummy and someone will try to catch you because, "Hey, free dummy"
******* To me, boxing is like ballet, except there's not really any dancing... and there's no choreography... and the dancers hit each other
******* If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all of the time for no good reason
******* Better not take your dog on the space shuttle. If he sticks his head out the window on the way back home, his face might burn up
******* To me, clowns aren't funny. If fact they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
******* I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals
******* If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest part is keeping the students from trying to yodel right off. You see we BUILD to that.
******* Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful flamingo flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a rose in his beak... and he's carrying a beautiful painting with his feet... and you're drunk.
******* Of all my uncles, I think I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes, he'd eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.
******* Anytime I see something screech across the room and latch on to someone's neck and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!
******* In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
******* The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
******* Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows, but without all that noise.
******* I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, everyone could take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
******* If you go parachuting and your parachute doesn't open, and all your friends are watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you're swimming.
******* I think when the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, they gathered together one evening and slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."
******* Sometimes, when I feel like killing someone, I do this little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A Jack-O-Lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says, "You." After that I usually feel a lot better and no harm done.
******* I wish I had a Kryptonite cross because then you could keep Dracula AND Superman away
******* Too bad you can't grab a tree by its tiptop and bend it over to the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.
******* If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one do you think liked dolphins more? I'd say Flippy wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.
******* Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
******* If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where his glove has been.
******* It's too bad whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
******* My wife, Marta, says that the interesting thing about fly fishing is that it's two lives connected by one thin strand. Come on Marta, grow up!
******* The old pool shooter had won many a game in his time, but now it was time to hang up his cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing down. "Sorry," he said with a smile.
******* Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me. Then he kicked me, then he punched me again.
******* The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy Texaco latrine
******* When you go on a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges
******* You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but is really sad on the inside. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
******* As the evening faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught this morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint
******* If the vikings were around today, I think they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted
******* Sometimes I think the whole world has gone mad. Then I think, "Aww, who cares?" Then I think, "Hey, what's for dinner?"
******* I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what's wrong with little bits of cheese? They probably break down into their various gases before they even hit.
*******It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running to go fight in another fight, away from the first fight.
******* I hope, if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size. I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
******* Instead of having "answers" on math tests, I think they should have "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what? Can't we all be brothers?
******* Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because "Where does he think he's going?!"
******* If God dwells inside of us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!
(Stay tuned for a blog talking about that last one....)
Thursday, August 3, 2006
The Wunderlic test
OK,
the Wunderlic test is a pre-employment screening that is designed to test how quickly and accurately you can think under stress.
Vince Young scored a 7 (out of 50) and he was just signed to a 6-year, $58 million contract with $26 million in guaranteed money
Here's my question:
I scored a 35 on that test... where is the love? :)
the Wunderlic test is a pre-employment screening that is designed to test how quickly and accurately you can think under stress.
Vince Young scored a 7 (out of 50) and he was just signed to a 6-year, $58 million contract with $26 million in guaranteed money
Here's my question:
I scored a 35 on that test... where is the love? :)
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
Israel and the End of Days
OK, by "End of Days" I'm not talking about the movie where California's Governor is taking on the devil!
The world is going to come to an end. Do we know when? NO! The "signs of the times" we are seeing, were said to be just the "beginning of birth pains." (Matthew 24 & Mark 13) You never know, but we do know that it will come when people don't expect it - even with the "signs." What is the point? BE READY!!!!!!!!
This is an excerpt from Newsweek:
Are These the End Times?
The coauthor of the popular Left Behind series explains why he believes Christ will return in our lifetimes.
The world is going to come to an end. Do we know when? NO! The "signs of the times" we are seeing, were said to be just the "beginning of birth pains." (Matthew 24 & Mark 13) You never know, but we do know that it will come when people don't expect it - even with the "signs." What is the point? BE READY!!!!!!!!
This is an excerpt from Newsweek:
Are These the End Times?
The coauthor of the popular Left Behind series explains why he believes Christ will return in our lifetimes.
By Brian Braiker
Newsweek
Updated: 8:37 p.m. MT July 28, 2006
.. language=JavaScript> function UpdateTimeStamp(pdt) { var n = document.getElementById("udtD"); if(pdt != '' && n && window.DateTime) { var dt = new DateTime(); pdt = dt.T2D(pdt); if(dt.GetTZ(pdt)) {n... = dt.D2S(pdt,((''.toLowerCase()=='false')?false:true));} } } UpdateTimeStamp('632897374664670000'); ..> July 28, 2006 - When Tim LaHaye talks, the faithful listenby the millions. The conservative Protestant minister is the coauthor of the wildly popular apocalyptic Left Behind novels. The controversial books, which have sold more than 60 million copies, depict the biblical end of the world: the Christian eschatology of the upheaval that precedes the second coming of Jesus Christ, known also as end times. LaHaye recently spoke with NEWSWEEKs Brian Braiker about why he believes the events currently unfolding in the
NEWSWEEK: How do you interpret whats happening in the
Tim LaHaye: Biblically speaking, the very nations that are mentioned in prophecyand have been mentioned for 2,500 years as occupying the focus of the tension of the last daysare the very nations that are involved in the conflict right now. That may be one of the reasons theres a sudden interest in bible prophecy because all of a sudden they realize end-time events could possibly take place and break forth right now.
But first-century Christians believed that the end of the world could come during their lifetime.
We call it the belief in the imminent return of Christ. Its a motivational factor to serve the Lord and not let the world be so much with us that we dont serve the Lord in the spiritual environment.
Couldn't almost anything then be taken as a clue that any point in history might be the end times?
Down through the years thats true. But never the accumulation of events as we have today. I have often said that no one knows the day nor the hour that Christ will come, but no generation has had so many signs of the times as our generation. We have more reason to believe that Christ could come in our lifetime than any generation before us.
You mentioned biblical prophecy. Im not the student nor the scholar that you are
Well, Im not the journalist that you are.
[Laughs.] But my understanding is that current biblical scholarship reads some of the apocalyptic scenes in the Bible as metaphorically addressing events that were taking place as the Bible was being written.
These are usually liberal theologians that dont believe the Bible literally.
So the Revelation should not be interpreted, for example, as a polemic against
Thats what they say. We believe that the Bible should be understood literally whenever possible. The next big event is the second coming of Christ. Thats preceded by a number of signs. And some of those signs could be stage-setting right now. Theyre not going to come out of nowhere. For example, the Bible predicts when the antichrist comes and sits at his kingdom after the Rapture, hes going to have one world economy and one world government and one world religion. Were already moving rapidly in the direction of those very things.
Really? It seems were a ways off from one world religion.
Thats the least developed, but there are many particularly liberal theologians that just think that "Oh, if we could just get everybody together of all beliefs ..." If you dont have a strong belief system, youre willing to compromise your beliefs with other religions.
Youve written about the threat of secular humanism.
Part of the opposition to our position is from the secular humanists, but part of it is from the liberal people of theology that reject the Bible. I dont see a great deal of difference between them. Their basic conclusions are often the same.
Youve also written that millions of unbelievers will be saved during the terrible time of the Tribulation'. What do you mean by that?
I take that from Revelation, chapter 7. One of the things thats going to happen after the Tribulation, after the church is gone, therell be no one here to witness the faith in Christ. So the Lord raises up 144,000 Jewish witnesses and he names the tribes that they come from. The result of those witnesses is they reach a multitude of souls that receive Christ.
Does this explain how living right with God, in a Christian sense, would entail supporting the Israeli state right now?
I think those two things are related. Christians who take the Bible literally are generally supportive of
But is it accurate to equate the state of
No, thats just a third of the number of Jews in the world.
So believers in the Rapture dont necessarily foresee a damnation of the Jews then?
No, we dont believe in the damnation of people in ethnic groups. We believe thats an individual decision. Now, it often follows in people groups. Take the Muslims that weve been talking about. Everybody knows that they do not accept Jesus Christ as a means of salvation from sin. Thats the only way you can be saved, is to call on the name of the Lord. Theyre not about to do that.
Neither are Jews.
Correct. But during the Tribulation period, therell be a sea change, and many Jews will accept Christ. Not all. Again, its an individual decision.
You recently donated a whole lot of money for a hockey rink at
[Laughs.] My strategy is that
Proselytism with a hockey puck?
Evangelism with a hockey puck would be better.
But if the end times are indeed near, why would there be any point in working toward fostering peace?
Right now the Church of Jesus Christ is busy in the spiritual vein of trying to win people to Christ. Were concerned about the salvation of individual souls. This whole thing has heightened the spirit of evangelism. Wars have always done that. But never have we had a war that is so specifically following the pattern of the scripture.
Michael Standaert is a critic of yours who has written recently in a blog that this belief in the end of the world in a big explosion of violence, reflects a spiritual malaise a hopelessness in humanity and that youre making money off of fear and hopelessness in your Left Behind series. How do you respond to that?
I would say that hes just betraying his poverty of faith. If he had faith in the Bible, faith in the future and Jesus Christ, hed recognize that our passion is just like the theme song in our books: we dont want anybody to be left behind.
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